No Guilt Fashion

Today, is the three year anniversary of the loss of my second pregnancy. I wasn’t super far along, but the loss still affected Nate and I like a punch to the throat. We had already become attached to the little guy, and couldn’t wait to welcome him into the world with arms wide open. I haven’t talked much about this loss, because, the process of even just physically getting over the miscarriage took FOREVER. I was constantly reminded day after day that instead of feeling kicks and punches from a baby I already loved I was still struggling to get back to normal and base 0, so we could try again. After a few months, and still not being past the physical aspect of the loss I wasn’t even sure I would want to or could try again.

Michael Buble’s song, I Just Haven’t Met You Yet may not have been written about such a loss, but every time I hear it I smile and almost start to cry. I may have had to say goodbye to my baby before even saying hello, but I will always remember the feeling of excitement when I found out I was pregnant. The joy that Nate and I shared, before the pain we felt when ripped apart all too soon. Love you kid!

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it’ll all turn out
You’ll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven’t met you yet

I might have to wait, I’ll never give up
I guess it’s half timing, and the other half’s luck
Wherever you are, whenever it’s right
You’ll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it’ll all turn out
You’ll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven’t met you yet